Starting university turned out to be a very important step for me. Not so much in the practical way, because it’s mostly just high school at a higher level. What it did, was that it forced me to get out of my comfort zone. I got thrown into an entirely new environment where I knew no one, and no one knew me.
As an introvert and shy person, making new friends is not something I’m good at, unless it’s over the internet. Being in the center of attention makes me uncomfortable, so I stay quiet in big groups. Incidentally, universities love putting new students into big groups, so you’ll understand why I skipped most of the introduction activities.
While I made acquaintances during the first few weeks, I’d mostly sit alone in class. That was new for me, and it brought along some flashes of insecurity. How is it that I’m the only one sitting alone? Why is everyone else able to act so comfortably around people they’ve known for a mere week? Thoughts like those would repeatedly cross my mind, and while they made me feel weird, they also intrigued me.
That’s when I started reading about personality types. I learned about introverts, extroverts, and how their brains work differently. There were profiles that described me so accurately, it freaked me out. The more I read, the more I realized that the thing I believed I had to overcome, was actually a common personality trait that defined who I was.
All of this new knowledge gave me a feeling of liberation that I had never felt before. It started to feel really good to do things by myself. Going to the movies alone became a fantastic experience. In a room filled with groups and couples, I was by myself and I no longer gave a fuck.
Right now, I’m three years into university. Although I did make friends, I still prefer to sit alone. If other people think that’s weird, I now let them think that. I’m not at school to socialize, but to get smarter and to get a degree. If I pick up some new friends on the way, that’s a great extra, but it’s not why I’m there.
Back to you. The problem you’re dealing with is not your introversion, but the idea that introversion is weird and wrong. Because introverts are the minority, extroverted values have become the norm in our societies. Turning down party invitations is rude, because parties are fun. Declining a phone call when you’re reading is not okay, because reading is not considered being busy. Etcetera. You’ve heard them all before.
This is not an attack on extroverts, because they often don’t realize not everyone has their preferences. I believe that proper education on this subject would help both introverts and extroverts to get a better understanding of themselves and each other.
Becoming proud of my introversion has been a slow process that’s still not entirely completed. Try to understand what your introversion means, and try to accept that it is perfectly normal. It may not be convenient all the time, but don’t let anyone tell you there’s something wrong with you, just because you’re not like them.
Even if only a little, I hope that my story can help you to become proud of who you are, because that’s a very important thing to strive for.
